Friendship is not a game between hearts...
Its a honourable feelings between hearts.
One should understand others feelings
without any words..
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
ART OF LIFE
Care should be in heart and
not in words......
Anger should be in words and
not in heart...
not in words......
Anger should be in words and
not in heart...
HEALTH TIP
ONE HEALTH TIP:
Don't eat maggi,pani poori,
fried rice, ice creams, chocolate and cakes
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....
without me
Don't eat maggi,pani poori,
fried rice, ice creams, chocolate and cakes
.....
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....
.....
......
......
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....
without me
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Distance
Distance can't seperate anyone.
Near can't bind anyone.
If feelings r true & from heart ,
Just close your eyes u can find
the one u miss
Near can't bind anyone.
If feelings r true & from heart ,
Just close your eyes u can find
the one u miss
Hindi message
Har Aahat Ehsaas Hamara Dilayegi
Har Hawa Kissa Hamara Sunaegi
Hum Itni Yadein Bhar Denge Aapke Dil
Mein Na Chahte Hue Bhi aapko Yaad
Hamari Aayegi
Har Hawa Kissa Hamara Sunaegi
Hum Itni Yadein Bhar Denge Aapke Dil
Mein Na Chahte Hue Bhi aapko Yaad
Hamari Aayegi
Happiness
happiness is like a butterfly.
If you runs after it,it keeps flying away.
But if U stand still it comes and
sits on ur shoulders.
Wishing you lots of Butterflie
If you runs after it,it keeps flying away.
But if U stand still it comes and
sits on ur shoulders.
Wishing you lots of Butterflie
Thursday, May 15, 2008
smart S/W engineer
Once a smart S/W engineer and his Project Manager were traveling towards Ooty in a train. Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma. With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our S/W engineer & that girl. After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.
Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.
Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy."
PM thought that,"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"
That girl thought that,"I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".
Finally, do u know what our clever S/W engineer thought?
"This one minute in my life was wonderful, It hardly comes...because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM"!!
Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.
Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy."
PM thought that,"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"
That girl thought that,"I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".
Finally, do u know what our clever S/W engineer thought?
"This one minute in my life was wonderful, It hardly comes...because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM"!!
Sardar jokes
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
A Teacher lecturing on population:
"In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "
A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".
Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!!"
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
A Teacher lecturing on population:
"In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "
A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".
Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!!"
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
gud one
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .
Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
~~~~~~~
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
~~~~~~~
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
How long has what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
~~~~~~
waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card
Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
~~~~~~~
Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
~~~~~~~
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .
Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
~~~~~~~
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
~~~~~~~
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
How long has what been going on?' said the man.
~~~~~~~
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Orkut Profile of a software engineer
Orkut Profile of a software engineer
About me: I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone to make me live !! Ok...I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (For all those who know me--> "Just stop laughing!!")
Relationship Status : what? Shocked
Birthday : The day my PL is about to fire me.
Age : 10111
1111
111
Here for : web browsing in company hours.
Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!!)
Ethnicity : Programmer.
Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101
Religion : I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.
Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!
Humor : weekly.
Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag.
Smoking : The second greatest pleasure on the earth.
Drinking : The first is this.
Pets: Yeah, my manager looks like a dog. Smile
Living: Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!
Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)
Webpage: naukri (dot) com , jobsahead (dot) com Isn't it Ultimate???
Passions: searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.
Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.
Activities: Are you crazy?
Books: "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored.
Music: Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing.
Tv shows : can't afford one.
Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meters of my cubicle....
About me: I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone to make me live !! Ok...I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (For all those who know me--> "Just stop laughing!!")
Relationship Status : what? Shocked
Birthday : The day my PL is about to fire me.
Age : 10111
1111
111
Here for : web browsing in company hours.
Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!!)
Ethnicity : Programmer.
Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101
Religion : I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.
Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!
Humor : weekly.
Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag.
Smoking : The second greatest pleasure on the earth.
Drinking : The first is this.
Pets: Yeah, my manager looks like a dog. Smile
Living: Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!
Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)
Webpage: naukri (dot) com , jobsahead (dot) com Isn't it Ultimate???
Passions: searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.
Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.
Activities: Are you crazy?
Books: "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored.
Music: Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing.
Tv shows : can't afford one.
Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meters of my cubicle....
Dear Tech Support Team:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities. Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
"A Troubled User"
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this.
I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0
STATUTORY WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support ...
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities. Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
"A Troubled User"
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this.
I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0
STATUTORY WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support ...
The Corporate language !!
"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"
"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"
"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"
"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".
"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"
"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"
"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"
"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"
"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"
"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."
"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"
"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"
"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"
means
" You will do it"
"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"
"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"
"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".
"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"
"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"
"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"
"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"
"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"
"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."
"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"
"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"
"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"
Monday, May 5, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
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