really funny

Really good one
Last day i got a funny mail. Enjoy it

London Dairy... a malayalam comedy

see the beatiful malayalam comedy that one Malayalee person's description about London.
London Diary

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator:&nbsap; ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
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Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations! ):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. '
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared. '
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from..'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!! !--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

biggest resort

translation needed.... anybody

Jab Gabbar Singh ne janam Liya to,
Maa Use bahut maar rahi thi,
Nurse ne Puchha - kyu Maar Rahi ho
Maa Boli - Sala Puchta hai kitne Aadmi the

hindi to english translation needed

Chai k cup se udte dhue me aap jaise dost ki tasvir nazar ati hai, kambakht inhi khayalo me khokar har roz meri chai thandi ho jati hai. ... Good morning

The value of a relation is not how much one feels happy with someone,
but it is the emptyness that one feels without some one

Keep the smile
leave the tear,
Feel the joy
Forget the fear,
Hold the laugh.
Leave the pain be happy forever

A butterfly Lives Only 4 few days but still it flies joyfully capturing many Hearts. Each moment in life is precious. Live happy and win many hearts. Good morning

1 day i hav got a chance 2 visit HEAVEN. There i can see many CLOCKS. I asked 2 an angel abt it. She said " it is a magic clock. When someone in earth do a foolish thing its needle will move 1 second". Then i asked 2 show ur clock, Angel said " sorry i cant show that it. Bcoz our GOD use it as TABLE FAN ".

FACT of ABCD

The letter D will not appear in English numbers from 1 to 99. It wil appears at hunDreD. The letter A wil start appearing at thousAnd. The letter B makes it's first appearance at Billion. But ther is no space for the letter C in English numbers. U may think Crore. But it is not a English word.

A FUNNY INTERVIEW...

Officer : What Is Your Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Father's Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It ?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir
Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate : Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It NowCandidate : My Performance....?
Officer : Mp !!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir..?Officer : Mentally Punctur

kids think quick

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria!

___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."__

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!

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TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

__________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!


___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."


___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand. ___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.___
________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;

__________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD : A teacher.

linux jokes

1 .Macs are for those who don’t want to know why their computer works.Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn’t work.Windows is for those who don’t want to know why their computer doesn’t work.


2 .This is Linux land. In silent nights you can hear the Windows machines rebooting.


3 .Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands.He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.Turning to the other two, he says, “At Microsoft, we are trained to be extremely thorough.”The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.He turns and says, “At Intel not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient.”The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, “At Sun, we don`t piss on our hands.”


4 .The box said “Requires Windows 95 or better.” I can’t understand why it won’t work on my Linux computer.


5 .Linux, DOS, Windows NT — The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly





6 .Three people had carpool: a mechanical engineer, a electrical engineer and a Microsoft programmer. But the car suddenly broke down. Mechanical engineer said: "Hey! It has to be the fuel injection. Lemme fix it." The electrical engineer didn't agree: "It's magneto probably. I'll fix it." Microsoft programmer shoke his head and said: "Hey guys, I have a simpler idea: Let's just close all the windows, get out of the car, then get back into it, and it should run!"

7. There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey! Where am I?" To this, the solitary office worker replies "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 180 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a while away."

super fun

Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.


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Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.


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Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students


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Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE


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Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday


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Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!


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Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."


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Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)


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A blind man was begging on side of new york street... with a board written " iam blind.. help me "... once a guy passing that side saw him. he took his board wrote some thing.. from that moment the blind man doubled his income... many started donating to him.. can you guess what he wrote ??..

He wrote " today is a beautiful day, but ican't see it " ....your way of expression can change many thing including others views.!!!!!!!

"Relationship is like a Book, it takes few seconds to Burn.
But it takes Years to b written!!! write it carefully &
never let it burn "

Long ago a person who sacrificed his sleep, his family, his food , his laughter were called saints ! But, now they r called "I.T Professionals "

real friend

If every1 forgets u, I'm wit u...
If every1 lets u down, I'm wit u..
If every1 betrays u,I'm stil wit u..
But if every1 likes u, sorry frnd, I'm wit dem...!

April Fool

Wishing you a very successful and excellent year filled with love,joy, and peace. MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY..! APRIL FOOL

Face challenges Confidently. Think , If I Cannot , who can........
But ..
After Winning , Be humble enough to say, If I can , who cannot

" Erasers are for people who MAKE errors " is an old saying , But a better saying is " Erasers are for people who are willing to CORRECT their mistakes..!!!"

Life before marriage is aritel "You can express yourself "
During honey moon is reliance " always keep in touch "
After honeymoon is vodafone " where ever you go your wifes network wil follows "
then it is idea " a wife can change your life "
After ten years BSNL " your subsciber is out of coverage area "

" Have an Icy morning with Buttering Messages, Chocolaty Calls, Creamy Thoughts, Fruity funs with Plumpy Play Jumpy Joys ...
HAVE A JOLLY DAY..... " Good Morning

If a mobile COMPANY owner suffering frm LOOSE MOTION . how wil he explain that to DR?
Dr, From morning unlimited free outgoing. Then i am getting new new ring tones. There is no balance in my stomach. whenever I am recharging within a minute its getting discharged. Can u plz disconnect my connection ??

clock needle

FR'NDSHIP is like a needle of a clock. Though V r in same clock, Vr not able 2 meet. Even if V meet , its only 4 few seconds . But V always stay connected......

really

Makin a million friends is not a miracle, miracle is to make a friend who will stand with u when a million are against u..... keep in touch

Corporate lesson

A crow was sitting on a 'tree' doing nothing all day ....
A rabbit came and asked the crow whether he also
can sit doing nothing. Crow said sure . Rabbit sat on the 'ground' and a Wolf
came and ate it up.

Moral of the story - " To sit and do nothing you need to be at the top ...!"

superb........

After ENGAGEMENT
she : yes i waited a long 4 dis
he : do you want me 2 leave?
She : No dont even think f it
he : did u luv me ?
She : yes i did, i am doing & i wil do
he : did u ever cheat me ?
she : will die than doing dis
he : wil u kis me ?
she : surely thats my pleasure
he: wil u hurt me ?
she : no im nt tht kind of person
he : can i trust u ?
she : yes
he : oh dear

2 know wht happenz after Marriage read FROM DOWN

touch head

Touch ur heart. U 'll feel rythm oy ur heartbeat. Touch ur wrist n u'll feel ur pulses. Touch ur head n u'll feel rythm of tapping an empty pot.$..Tin..tin..tedin GN

friendship

Friendship is the most valuable gift of life. Making a friendship is not great. But ...... Keeping a friendship is so great. .. Good night

funny

(read as malayalam)
India goverment oru puthiya niyamam irakkiyirikkunnu. Glamour ulla aalukal raajyam vittu purathu pokuka..... ninte okke bhagyam, njan evide poi olikkum?

tea strength

We are like teabags whose true strength comes out when we're put in hot water. So when prblms upset U, just think... u must be God's favourite cup of TEA.

God's creativity

God creatd gud heart: i got it,
He created gud brain: i got it,
He created gud face: i got it,
He created gud frnd



O Hello!!!
U got it....good morning